When you work side by side with people, many different people and personalities are interacting, so conflicts inevitably arise:
- A talkative colleague interrupts you when you are trying to work.
- A teammate on a project isn’t pulling his or her own weight.
- A competitive colleague takes credit for your ideas.
- A person from whom you need information is unresponsive.
These examples present challenges in day-to-day relationships. Relationship management is a key skill to mitigate common workplace conflicts. Your mentors, especially your shepherd, can help you by forewarning you of colleagues who might be problematic and advising you how others have learned to work with those people. You might simply need to set boundaries and establish a working relationship for the future.
If a colleague interrupts your work, don’t continue the conversation. If you engage her in conversation, she might think you welcome her interruptions. Let her know you have a deadline and ask if you can come by at a set time. Make sure you schedule a time that is specific and limited. She will likely get the message—though it may take a few times—and stop interrupting you. You have set a boundary and a standard for how you wish to be treated.
If a colleague isn’t pulling his own weight, your strategy will depend on his seniority to you (if you are peers, it’s less complicated than if he’s senior), your working history, and whether you expect to be working together in the future. React more carefully if your lazy colleague is senior, in case he has more influence with your boss. If your working history has been good in the past, you might decide to give your colleague the benefit of the doubt or reach out and candidly offer your help. If you expect to be working together on an ongoing basis, it is more important that you first establish a good working relationship. Get help from your mentor on how to deal with the situation in a way that reflects the culture of the organization as well as the relationship and power dynamics.
If a competitive colleague takes credit for your idea, make sure you document your ideas and speak up so that she is unable to do this. She might not realize it’s your idea and is merely repeating what she heard.
She might do this intentionally, but once you stand up for yourself, she’ll move on to others. This underscores how important it is to have regular updates with your boss where you can let him or her know firsthand what you are contributing.
If a colleague is unresponsive, recognize that there will be many situations where you have to influence people to help you, even when it is someone over whom you have no direct authority. This is a great skill to learn. The causes as to why someone may be unresponsive differ widely, but you can help the situation by making clear requests with specific deadlines. People are busy, and if you don’t get what you need, rather than assume someone is deliberately being unhelpful, be clear and help people help you.
These are just some examples of workplace conflicts, but others will occur because your work environment combines many different personalities, roles, and cultures. Good communication and relationship-management skills will help you tremendously. If you have mentors who can provide a sounding board, as well as the cultural and historical context for people’s behaviors, that will help tailor your good foundational skills to your current environment.
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